moi 的个人资料...照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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...10月10日 Where am I now? Part IIIt has been a strange and sinuous road that has led me here today... A new city. A new life. A new endeavour that, at times, seems grander than life...more overwhelming than the meaning of life.
Those that have followed me through the years will not be surprised to know that I have, yet again, re-invented my life. Created yet another whirlwind of change within which I am seeking to find balance and renewal... I have left my friends, my family, my job; have shed the weights of material possessions that kept me anchored to the beast's belly and have spread my wings and flown away. To where? For what?
I am now floating on the other side of this big white country, still trapped within the same body, undertaking a PhD... oh my... yes, oh my!
The solitude I once thought was mine, my friend, my foe...the one I had accepted and grown to love, is now more present than ever. Yet very far. Seeking comfort in the smile of a stranger, the laughter of a child, the singing of the automn leaves and the flourishing of my mind... solitude is everywhere, omnipresent...but not a foe... It simply exists within each and everyone of us and we choose to dismiss it or accept it. We choose to hide it or let it shine and be. I am not running from it any longer, but embracing it in all its beauty, and finding that it is a word, but a word. A social construct with too much negative meaning to it than is warranted... Solitude doesn't equate with the number of beings you are deprived of or surrounded with. It matters not where one stands in the social scalar chain of life. Solitude is within oneself and no matter what one does. Like the heart that sustains you, the blood that flows through you. Solitude is a part of you...a piece of the puzzle, a part no greater than its sum yet too often given total space... Fuck it.
Solitude
Folllitude
Attitude
...
Take your "tude" and run with it, fly with it, embrace it, love it and be...all that you can be.
xox
10月7日 Where am I?Its been a long, long time
...since letters and words have flowed through my mind
...since letters and words upon this page have been layed down
...
..
.
Where have I been and where am I?
I...
...Have learned to fly
...Have seen the sky
...Have met the ground
...Been all around
...
..
.
Same old questions
Different perspective
Same vision
Different location
Same set of eyes
Never the same "I"
...
..
.
So where am I?
Here.
Still
here.
But, enough about me...where are you?
8月26日 My favorite quoteIn some remote corner of the universe, poured out and glittering in innumerable solar systems, there once was a star on which clever animals invented knowledge. That was the haughtiest and most mendacious minute of "world history" - yet only a minute. After nature had drawn a few breaths and the star grew cold, and the clever animals had to die. One might invent such a fable and still not have illustrated sufficiently how wretched, how shadowy and flighty, how aimless and arbitrary, the human intellect appears in nature. There have been eternities when it did not exist; and when it is done for again, nothing will have happened. For this intellect has no further mission that would lead beyon human life. It is human, rather, and only its owner and producer gives it such importance, as if the world pivoted around it. But if we could communicate with the mosquito, then we would learn that it floats through the air with the same self-importance, feeling within itself the flying center of the world. (Nietzsche) To that I say: Life is short, and can appear meaningless but is ultimately beautyful in all its Might. Don't let the unbearable lightness of being (or 'heavyness' depending on your perspective) destroy your sense of self. Just be. And enjoy the ride. 5月16日 Is there A Truth?I wonder some times...
Actually...let me be truthfull and say:
I wonder often.
I wonder to myself
Is there an Ultimate Truth?
Or is there simply a commonly held truth...
Hard to tell.
Human beings discover every day
New realms of thoughts
New realms of truths
Beyond the beaten path of knwledge already gained.
But then again, is it only smoke and mirrors?
The shadow behind the image
The image behind the Truth?
The known hidden behind the unknown that will never be known... because the eye is always overly focused on the seen...the observable...the qualifyable, the quantifyable...the knowable.
The common truth.
The one that can be identified, measured and communicated in a way that breeds common understanding within our individual frames...
But what about the Unknowable? The non-common truth, or common but non communicable, in a common way because of lack of evidence?
The lack of evidence of the metaphysical that unites and seperates us in many ways. Societal and individual .
Will the evidence of a unique Truth, of a God or many Gods, of a grander Purpose ever appear before our common eyes?
I wonder some times...
Sadly, most times I wish I stopped wondering so damn much..
5月12日 The transformation continues...On the endless road to self, world and otherworld discovery...
***
The storm has past
Yet, here I lay aghast...
The experience consumed
My body and mind subsumed
By a dialectic of ideas
An ideation of all that is
I lay about in fear
It's all become too clear
...
I drink another beer
Smoke another joint
Return to what I know
though..
Life is easier when you don't know
And what you know is what you're told or sold
Invent the past
Forget the future
Live in the shadow of the present
It's easier that way
Introspection, contemplation, imagination and creation are all enemies of mass production and consumption...
So stay away.
It's just easier that way.
****
It's easier that way if you can tolerate yourself ...
...or lack thereof... ;-)
I can't.
Can you?
Then again, as my luvely NZ friend puts it well...
quote:
People are often uncomfortable with the idea of introspection - we use dismissive terms like "navel-gazing" and talk about people having their "heads in the clouds". I think possibly people who talk like that are scared of what they might face, when they face up to themselves...hmmmm....interesting...
..to each their own I guess...
oy.
5月6日 Learning to Fly...I'm learning to fly....
Aiming for the horizon...
...
I spread my wings...
...
I'm taking a leap of faith...
And lunging towards the unknown.
But the winds have shifted.
The horizons I aim for have taken on new forms.
The experience I seek is within me.
I want to fly inward.
I want to fly into the black hole that is my mind and explore...
I want to fly and swirl
Into depths unknown...
Into depths be thrown...
And by my depth be throned...
I want to be owned.
4月6日 Spring is at my door again ...*smiles*...and again I stand up from where I've been hiding all winter and spread my wings...
...its the re-birth...
...enlightened by the deep and sometimes dark contemplative states of mind that come with winter...with cold... with ice...and ... with death...
Spring is at my door again...*smiles*
I'm ready for my re-birth. *smiles*
Are you?
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